Sunday, March 07, 2010

I have a voice

I have wanted to get back into writing some posts, and often discover great subject matter while I'm riding the bus to or from work, or doing the dishes, but then when I sit down at the computer and face the screen, my mind seems to turn to mush and I have nothing to say. It's hugely disappointing. Why? I think it's because I want to have a voice and to be heard. I have thoughts rumbling around in my head, but have difficulty being courageous enough to get them "out there".

I used to sing in a lot of groups and actually did a fair bit of "vocalizing" in my younger days. Not so much any more. In all my years of singing, the one comment that always came to the forefront was "You're too quiet". Even when it came to singing, I think maybe I was scared to be heard then too.

It's a big thing for me to believe that I have something to say that someone else might want to hear. For a long time I have believed that what I think really doesn't matter. I'm not sure exactly when that changed for me - perhaps when the kids came along and all of a sudden what I had to say was important to someone. Or perhaps it was the constant affirmation of my husband. Of course now some of my kids are teenagers ... but I still am able to believe that what I have to say to them has value. They might not always believe that or want to hear it, but that doesn't negate the truth of the matter.

And the truth is, I have a voice. I have value.

1 comment:

Eric said...

Yes you do have value and your words often strike the metal on the anvil of my soul.