Wednesday, May 31, 2006
I can't get my mind wrapped around what it must be like to anticipate to spend the rest of your life with someone, raising your young children, and then lose that person to some disease or illness; what it must be like to make certain life-shifts because now you are the primary care-giver and have no-one to share that role and responsibility with in the same way. My heart aches for these fathers who must now raise their young children alone.
It was good to see these kids who have lost their mothers playing and interacting with other kids with smiles on their faces. I'm sure there are times when they feel keenly the pain of their loss, but for an hour at a soccer game, they're just kids who like to run and play.
Life is busy these days. Two boys play soccer Mondays and Wednesdays, one plays Tuesdays and Thursdays, the other one plays different days, but practices Thursdays, Saturdays and Sundays. I feel like I'm being stretched in so many directions, and its my kids who are suffering for it. I have to pick and choose which game I go to see and which boy I will spend time with that evening. I need a clone! (Just joking.)
Sunday, May 14, 2006
I received a call today from a friend letting me know that the mother of a little boy that my youngest, Zackery, has played indoor soccer with the past two seasons, died this past week after battling breast cancer. Barely two months ago we were sitting together watching the boys play. Her hair was just starting to grow back in and get some length after the chemo treatments and it seemed like she was feeling well. Her little boy would always look up to see if she was watching him and if she noticed what he had accomplished on the field. She yelled encouragement and advice to him and loved to watch him play. What a good mother she was. My heart aches for that little boy and his younger sister who are now without their mother.
This is when I ask, “Why, God?” And there are no answers. Just a heavy heart and prayers for solace and comfort.
Monday, May 08, 2006
Eric had arranged to be home for the weekend and he actually came along to both weddings. For Eric, this was quite something. He has never really enjoyed weddings – I’m lucky enough that he actually showed up to ours! I’m sure his preference when we got married would have been to simply elope!
Weddings are a reflective time for me. I think back on my own wedding ceremony and, although I enjoyed it and felt it was well thought out and characterized Eric and I as a couple, if I were to do it all again, I’m sure I would do things differently.
But the wedding day is only that … just a day. It’s the day that the bride (and groom?) plan and prepare for months in advance. But what is really important comes right after the wedding day (no, not the “consummation”!), I’m talking about the work of the marriage. And marriage is work. And it is also well worth the effort.
I knew before I even met Eric, as I anticipated our first blind date, that he was the one for me. I can’t explain it – only that God put him in my heart. And since God put him in my heart from the first, commitment to Eric has always been a bit of a no-brainer for me. Our married life hasn’t always been easy, but I have never questioned or doubted my commitment to Eric.
Almost 17 years of marriage and I still have the index card that I wrote out my wedding vows on:
“Eric, I love you. God has led you to be part of my life and I cherish you as a gift from Him. Today I am covenanting before God to be your wife and I do so with great joy. As your wife and your best friend I covenant to support you in all your endeavours and to minister to the needs of your body, heart and spirit. I realize that I am incapable of loving you on my own strength, and that it is only because of the love of Jesus in me that I am able to love you. It is my desire to love you as God would enable me and I am trusting Him that my love for you will grow richer, fuller and more complete each day of our lives. You have touched my life in a way no person has before and you have encouraged me to be the person God made me to be. I want to encourage you to be all that God designed you to be; I believe in you and I trust you. Wherever He leads, I will follow together with you. I love
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
The image that you see after staring at the black dots is the face of Jesus.
I wish it were that easy to see His face in every other aspect of my life. Maybe I just need to concentrate and look a little harder. There are times I do see Jesus in my kids and they way they treat each other (on a good day!); I see Jesus in my husband when he is so attentive to me or one of the boys. I hope others can see Jesus in me.